There’s a line from an old movie that’s been hanging out in my head lately:
“The time to make up your mind about people, is never.” — Philip Barry
It’s from The Philadelphia Story — the play Philip Barry wrote for Katharine Hepburn before she starred in the film version. Her character says it right before her second wedding, basically hinting that life — and people — don’t always follow the script we’ve written for them.
And honestly? That line feels just as true in real life as it does in a black-and-white movie.
Sometimes the wisest thing we can do is hold off on deciding who someone is — because people are constantly in motion, whether we see it or not.
We Decide Fast — Way Too Fast
Our brains are sneaky little efficiency machines.
They love a shortcut.
Meet someone new?
File them in a tidy mental folder: “ah, I know this type.”
Hear one opinion?
Label applied. Case closed. Next!
To be fair — it’s not all bad. Way back when, this kind of quick-sort thinking kept us alive. We didn’t have time to sit around pondering someone’s character while a saber-toothed tiger circled the camp.
But now?
That shortcut can make us miss the actual human right in front of us.
Ever thought you had someone figured out, only to find out later you were way off?
It’s humbling… and kind of beautiful, honestly.
Because those moments remind us:
People are rarely finished products.
(And neither are we.)
Why Staying Open Matters
Some of the most meaningful connections in my life came from giving someone time to unfold. Sometimes I misread someone at first. Sometimes I was distracted or stressed. Sometimes they were having a day.
And sometimes — here’s the twist — it wasn’t them that changed… it was me.
Age has a funny way of softening the edges on things we used to be so sure about.
Life humbles you. You start to realize:
People grow
Circumstances shape us
Seasons change us
And grace goes a long, long way
Staying curious keeps the door open for connection — and honestly, for grace. And goodness, don’t we all need that?
We Deserve That Same Grace, Too
Here’s the part we don’t talk about as much:
If it’s never the time to make up our mind about others, maybe it’s never the time to decide who we are, either.
How many times have we boxed ourselves in?
“I’m not outgoing.”
“I don’t do scary new things.”
“That’s just not who I am.”
Says who?
Sometimes we’re still seeing an old version of ourselves.
Sometimes we’re outgrowing the labels we stuck on years ago.
Sometimes we're becoming someone new… slowly, quietly, steadily.
And that deserves patience too.
We’re all allowed to surprise ourselves.
And for me, I think part of that openness comes from trusting that God isn’t done with any of us — that He keeps shaping and refining, even in ways we don’t see right away.
We’re works in progress — every single one of us.
A Gentle Thought
That quote keeps ringing in my ears:
The time to make up your mind about people, is never.
Maybe the best gift we can give each other — and ourselves — is curiosity over certainty.
Notice change.
Allow growth.
Leave room for surprise.
Because people? They evolve.
Even when we aren’t watching.
A Small Reflection (just for you)
If you want a little journaling moment:
Who in your life might surprise you if you let them?
And where might you be surprising yourself lately, too?
If you’ve made it to the bottom of this post, I’m guessing something here resonated—whether it’s navigating grief and growth, diving into natural wellness, or just trying to live a more intentional life in a fast-paced world.
This space is where I share what I’m learning (and unlearning), the tools that are helping me along the way, and the little things that bring joy, healing, and clarity—even on the hard days.
This space is where I share what I’m learning (and unlearning), the tools that are helping me along the way, and the little things that bring joy, healing, and clarity—even on the hard days.
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This isn’t about perfection or pressure. It’s about finding what supports us, what lights us up, and what brings us back to ourselves—together.
You’re invited to join my newsletter, Finding What Works—a weekly-ish note from me with practical wellness tips, nostalgic nods for GenX souls, and honest reflections from someone who’s still figuring it all out (but loves sharing the good stuff along the way).
This isn’t about perfection or pressure. It’s about finding what supports us, what lights us up, and what brings us back to ourselves—together.
Click here to subscribe and come along for the ride. I’d love to have you in my corner.
Have a question or something to share?
✨ My blog exists because I know what it feels like to keep everything jumbled in your head — like a messy pile of clothes you can’t sort through.
Writing it all down brings clarity, calm, and sometimes even healing answers I didn’t know I was looking for.
Honestly, that’s why I keep showing up to write — it helps me make sense of things.
Even if you have no intentions of ever publishing your work, I highly recommend writing stuff down. It doesn't have to be a literary masterpiece or even full, grammatically correct sentences... just dump those random thoughts onto paper... you'll see what I mean.
*This blog centers the GenX experience, simply because that’s the lens I live through—but anyone looking for connection, natural wellness, grief support, or a little real-talk in this messy stage of life is more than welcome.
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