Grief and Healing

How Family History Keeps Me Grounded (Especially During Life’s Hardest Moments)

How Family History Keeps Me Grounded (Especially During Life’s Hardest Moments)
It hit me recently that I’ve never really stopped living in the past—and I mean that in the a good kind of way.

I’ve always been the one in the family who asks about the great-grandparents no one remembers. The one who pulls over for historical markers, gets lost in old newspaper clippings, and secretly prefers a vintage map over GPS. Some people collect souvenirs when they travel—I like to collect stories...
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Old Map, New Road: Making Peace with a Future That Looks Different

Old Map, New Road: Making Peace with a Future That Looks Different
I’ve always been someone who liked having a plan. Not a rigid, every-minute-mapped-out kind of plan—but a general sense of what was ahead, where we were headed, and what we were building toward. Especially in recent years, Eric and I had started dreaming about what life could look like once the busy years slowed down a bit.
We thought we had time...
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Holding Two Truths at Once: Living with Grief, Growth, and Everyday Life After Loss

Holding Two Truths at Once: Living with Grief, Growth, and Everyday Life After Loss
Some days, I can laugh at a meme, cry in the shower, check off a to-do list, and miss Eric so deeply it physically aches—all before noon. It’s kinda disorienting. But it’s also how I know I’m still here, still feeling.

That’s the thing nobody really prepares you for: how often conflicting emotions show up holding hands. You can be grateful and overwhelmed. Hopeful and heartbroken. Healing and still hurting.

That part—holding two truths at once—feels like a quiet superpower. One we’re not taught growing up, but end up learning when life hands us something heavy. It becomes a survival skill. A lifeline...
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Stop ‘Shoulding’ on Yourself

Stop ‘Shoulding’ on Yourself
Many of us find ourselves burdened with a never-ending list of "shoulds," such as the need to be more productive or lead a healthier lifestyle. These expectations often originate from society, family, or our inner critic rather than from our genuine desires. By pausing and questioning the source of these "shoulds," we can liberate ourselves from unnecessary pressures and live more authentically.

Instead of accepting these societal pressures, we can reframe them to align with our true needs and values. For example, instead of feeling compelled to work out daily, we can choose ways to move our bodies that genuinely feel good. By shifting focus from external expectations to what genuinely serves our well-being, wellness becomes a supportive practice rather than a burden.

Challenging the spiral of unrealistic "shoulds" involves recognizing what's genuinely important to us. By asking "Says who?" we can start to dismantle the self-imposed pressures that don't serve us. Ultimately, this shift allows us to pursue a life that feels more authentic and fulfilling, free from the constraints of unnecessary expectations.
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The Art of Doing Nothing (And Why It’s Harder Than It Sounds)

The Art of Doing Nothing (And Why It’s Harder Than It Sounds)
The blog post delves into the misunderstood value of "doing nothing" and how society has conditioned us to equate busyness with worth. It explores the struggle of disengaging from constant productivity and embracing downtime, emphasizing that rest is crucial for mental health, creative thinking, and emotional balance. The author highlights how technology and the fear of boredom or confronting one's thoughts contribute to the difficulty of simply existing without distractions.

Throughout the post, the author experiments with strategies to embrace downtime, such as reframing rest as an essential activity, starting with small increments of time, and engaging in low-effort activities like cloud-watching or sipping tea. By using timers and allowing the mind to wander without an agenda, the author finds a balance that helps to overcome the discomfort of inactivity. The narrative encourages readers to challenge the societal norms that glorify busyness and recognize the importance of this self-care practice.

The take-home message is clear: doing nothing is not laziness but a necessary reset that benefits both mind and body. The author calls readers, especially fellow essential oil enthusiasts, to share their experiences with embracing downtime and the role oils play in enhancing relaxation. By normalizing the practice of simply being, the post advocates for a life that includes moments of pause and reflection, which can be enriched with the use of essential oils.
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✨ My blog exists because I know what it feels like to keep everything jumbled in your head — like a messy pile of clothes you can’t sort through.

 Writing it all down brings clarity, calm, and sometimes even healing answers I didn’t know I was looking for.


Honestly, that’s why I keep showing up to write — it helps me make sense of things. 

 Even if you have no intentions of ever publishing your work, I highly recommend writing stuff down. It doesn't have to be a literary masterpiece or even full, grammatically correct sentences... just dump those random thoughts onto paper... you'll see what I mean.

*This blog centers the GenX experience, simply because that’s the lens I live through—but anyone looking for connection, natural wellness, grief support, or a little real-talk in this messy stage of life is more than welcome.

Hi! I'm AJ Flanagan.

 
Hey there — I’m AJ.

I’m an empty-nester and a widow who had a wake-up call about the hidden toxins in everyday products most of us grew up using. Our parents didn’t know. We didn’t know either. But once you start paying attention, it’s hard to ignore.

Life shifted in 2018 when my husband, Eric, was diagnosed with leukemia — and again in 2023 when we faced a second cancer diagnosis. Supporting him through treatment changed how we looked at just about everything, including how we cared for our home, our bodies, and our day-to-day routines.
We didn’t aim for perfection or extremes. We focused on simple, meaningful changes — reducing toxic load in our home, choosing better ingredients, prioritizing nourishing food, and building calmer rhythms into daily life. Tools like aromatherapy, music, meditation, and intentional rest became part of how we coped and stayed grounded.

Caring for Eric deepened my commitment to living well — not as a trend, but as a way of showing up with intention and grace, even in the hard seasons.

Now I share our story, the lessons we learned, the small changes that made a big difference, and how I'm moving forward. My hope is to make wellness feel more approachable, less overwhelming, and rooted in real life — especially for anyone who wants healthier options without pressure or perfection.

If you’re here to find what actually works for you, you’re in the right place.

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