When I was younger, I had this vision of what life would look like by now. I’d be effortlessly successful, totally put-together, and somehow still look 25—but better. My house would belong in a magazine, my life plan would be rock solid, and I’d be one of those people who just knew what they were doing all the time.

Fast-forward to today, and… well, let’s just say reality had other plans. Turns out, some of the things I thought would be important don’t actually matter at all. And the things that do? Yeah, I never saw those coming...

Since Eric passed away last November, I’ve been navigating grief and personal growth, learning how creative self-care and mindfulness can help with healing. Taking better care of myself—physically, mentally, and emotionally—has become a priority, and I’ve discovered that midlife reinvention often starts with small, intentional changes.

Writing about all of this in my blog has been a big piece of the puzzle for me and I don't see myself stopping anytime soon... so I hope you enjoy! Recently, my friend Jennifer and I decided to dive into another project that feels like a breath of fresh air for both of us: we started a podcast called "Folklore & Facts: Grandmas Getting to the Bottom of It."

Sometimes when I look back, I can see myself moving from one busy moment to the next without taking time to go about anything with intention. Feeling like I was on autopilot or just along for the ride was my normal - I don't think I ever realized it in the moment. 

With three busy kids who enjoyed being involved in EVERYTHING and knowing I wanted to be the most supportive mom I could be, I didn't often take time to stop and think, or plan anything more than the logistics of how to get everyone where they needed to be and back home to be fed before going to bed - just to begin again the next day. No regrets - I loved that part of being a mom and wouldn't change any decisions Eric and I made so that we could make it work. I loved being there for my kids. Still do, even though what that looks like has changed a lot since then. 

Looking back, aside from the intentional choice for Eric to be our breadwinner and for me to stay home with the kids, I don't know that very much else happened intentionally. We were winging it... along for the ride.

Grief is a complex and personal journey that doesn't follow a linear path. Cocooning, or taking time to pause and heal, is essential for processing grief deeply without external pressures. During this time, one can rest, reset, set new boundaries, and reflect on emotions to better understand the grieving process.

As grief transforms us, it changes our needs, boundaries, and goals. We may find that previous priorities shift, and new ones emerge as part of our growth. Balancing the stillness of cocooning with the desire to re-engage with life involves setting small, achievable goals and gently reintroducing old passions while maintaining healthy boundaries.

Embracing life beyond loss means integrating grief into a broader narrative of growth and transformation. Honoring the past, living authentically, and pursuing new dreams allow us to create a future that respects our loss while opening up space for new opportunities. Grief changes us, but it also provides the courage to set new goals and embrace a life filled with both remembrance and possibility.

Many of us find ourselves burdened with a never-ending list of "shoulds," such as the need to be more productive or lead a healthier lifestyle. These expectations often originate from society, family, or our inner critic rather than from our genuine desires. By pausing and questioning the source of these "shoulds," we can liberate ourselves from unnecessary pressures and live more authentically.

Instead of accepting these societal pressures, we can reframe them to align with our true needs and values. For example, instead of feeling compelled to work out daily, we can choose ways to move our bodies that genuinely feel good. By shifting focus from external expectations to what genuinely serves our well-being, wellness becomes a supportive practice rather than a burden.

Challenging the spiral of unrealistic "shoulds" involves recognizing what's genuinely important to us. By asking "Says who?" we can start to dismantle the self-imposed pressures that don't serve us. Ultimately, this shift allows us to pursue a life that feels more authentic and fulfilling, free from the constraints of unnecessary expectations.