When I was younger, I had this vision of what life would look like by now. I’d be effortlessly successful, totally put-together, and somehow still look 25—but better. My house would belong in a magazine, my life plan would be rock solid, and I’d be one of those people who just knew what they were doing all the time.
Fast-forward to today, and… well, let’s just say reality had other plans. Turns out, some of the things I thought would be important don’t actually matter at all. And the things that do? Yeah, I never saw those coming.
1. What I Thought Would Matter: Having It All Figured Out
What Actually Matters: Making Peace with the Unknown
Younger me assumed that by now, I’d have all the answers. Spoiler alert: I do not. If anything, I have more questions. Like, why does my back hurt for no reason? When did I become the person who gets excited about a new herbal remedy? And why do teenagers look at me like I’m a historical artifact when I mention dial-up internet?
I used to think adulthood meant knowing exactly what you were doing. Turns out, it has mostly been about winging it, hoping for the best, and realizing that nobody else really knows what they’re doing either. I'm working to change that up by being more intentional with my thoughts and my choices these days and that's making a world of difference, especially when those curveballs coming flying at me.
2. What I Thought Would Matter: Looking Young Forever
What Actually Matters: Feeling Good in My Own Skin
Once upon a time, I believed I’d age like a Hollywood A-lister—gracefully, effortlessly, and without a single forehead wrinkle. Now, my bathroom cabinet is a delightful mix of skin serum, muscle rub, and essential oils, because I’m equally concerned about my skin and my joints.
But honestly? I wouldn’t trade my current confidence for my 20-something insecurity ever. Back then, I agonized over every tiny imperfection. Now? I wear what I like, do what feels good, and embrace the laugh lines—because hey, at least they mean I’ve laughed a lot.
3. What I Thought Would Matter: Owning the Perfect Home
What Actually Matters: Having a Space That Feels Like Me
Younger me thought the perfect home meant color-coordinated décor, furniture that matched, and a kitchen that always looked spotless. Now? My version of home perfection is finding a chair that doesn’t hurt my back and keeping at least one surface clutter-free.
Pinterest tells me I should have a minimalist, aesthetically pleasing space, but let’s be real—I like being surrounded by things that mean something to me, too. So, my house is a mix of sentimental keepsakes, clutter-free spaces, and areas that are works in progress. That's real life.
4. What I Thought Would Matter: Being “Successful” (By Some Societal Standard)
What Actually Matters: Defining Success on My Own Terms
Younger me imagined success as a fancy title, a corner office, and maybe even one of those briefcases people in movies always seemed to have. Now? I define success by things like:
• Getting a full night’s sleep.
• Remembering where I put my tea before it gets cold.
• Doing work that actually feels fulfilling.
I never dreamed I'd be happily blogging, podcasting, and sharing my passion for a natural wellness lifestyle! Success isn’t about climbing a ladder someone else built—it’s about creating a life that feels right for me, even if it looks nothing like what I once expected.
5. What I Thought Would Matter: Saying Yes to Everything
What Actually Matters: Knowing When to Say No
There was a time when I said yes to everything—every event, every favor, every obligation—because I thought being busy and people-pleasing meant I was doing life right. Now, I’ve learned the magic of saying no.
• No, I don’t want to stay out past 10 PM.
• No, I don’t need to be on every committee.
• No, I will not be attending that event that takes me away from time spent with my family on the weekend.
My time and energy are limited, and saying no to things that drain me means saying yes to what actually fills my cup.
6. What I Thought Would Matter: Keeping Up with Trends
What Actually Matters: Comfort, Authenticity, and Joy
Remember when staying on top of trends felt essential? Now, I proudly wear my comfy clothes, listen to music I love (the kids call it “old school”), and refuse to force myself into anything just because it’s trendy.
I mean, I survived shoulder pads and perms in the ‘80s... and the "bedazzle everything" phase that followed that one. I’ve earned the right to sit out whatever questionable fashion trend is making a comeback this time.
Looking back...
I laugh at the things I thought would matter. Midlife has a way of stripping away the noise and clarifying what’s actually important: good people, good memories, and finding joy in the little things.
So, if you’re still figuring things out, changing directions, or just realizing that younger-you was a little misguided—welcome to the club. Turns out, the best part of getting older is caring less about what doesn’t matter and fully embracing what does.
What about you? What’s something you thought would matter but totally doesn’t? Let’s hear it!
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