I heard an old song the other day... one I’ve heard a hundred times without ever really paying attention to the lyrics. But this time, I actually listened. I had one of those "Oh! So THAT'S what I've been singing all along," moments. It was one of those times that the meaning of the lyrics actually landed.
When an Old Song Teaches You Something New
I’ve actually had a few of those moments. They sneak up on you—not with fanfare, just with a soft tap on the shoulder—reminding you that your perspective changes over time. What didn’t make much sense in your thirties lands differently at sixty. And the older you get, the more you realize how much of life is something you learn as you go, not something you arrive at a certain age just magically knowing.
Yep. I used to think grown-ups magically knew stuff.
Now I laugh at that idea. Half of the " life rules" from my twenties turned out to be just someone else's best guesses. The rest were improvised on the spot. Yep - we simply made sh!t up on the fly. Raise your hand if you've done that. 🙋🏻♀️
The Parenting Lessons You Only Learn With Time
And honestly, if I could go back and whisper anything to my younger self—especially the version of me that was raising kids—it would probably be this:
“You’re doing better than you think… and yes, everyone else is winging it too.”
The older I got as a mom, the more I realized: half the stuff I worried about didn’t matter. My kids cared that I showed up, not that I had a perfect system. (I didn't.)
My approach changed as I learned and as I slowly relaxed. I think we all do that.
I realized:
• It’s not neglect to enact the 3-second rule with a binky.
• It’s growth to let them wear mismatched socks.
• It’s experience to choose your battles - they'll put their coat on when they get cold enough.
• It’s realizing what matters and what doesn’t when you serve cereal for dinner.
It’s all part of the shift from anxious perfection to lived-in wisdom. And that evolution—that slow shaping of priorities—comes from learning on the job, not from arriving fully prepared.
I think the best thing we can tell the younger generation is: “Yeah, we were winging it. You probably will too. It’s okay.
And a lot of the decisions we made were shaped by what we were taught, what we feared, and what we hoped we were getting right.
There’s something freeing about being honest like that. It gives the younger ones permission to be learners instead of perfection-chasers. It lets them know they’re not failing if they haven’t mastered life by twenty-nine. And it opens up a kind of grace between generations that I think we could all use a little more of.
I swear, hitting certain ages is like unlocking new levels of understanding about your parents.
Their choices make more sense now. Their struggles make more sense. Their tiredness? Oh, that makes a LOT more sense.
You begin to see them not as the people you needed them to be… but as human beings trying to do their best with what they had at the time.
And once that clicks, something softens inside you.
Because now you know what it feels like to be overwhelmed, to hope you’re making a good decision, to carry the weight of your family’s well-being on your shoulders. You know what it feels like to grow through mistakes, to change your mind with experience, to become a different parent to your younger children than you were to the older ones simply because you learned more along the way.
Generational Wisdom: The Lessons We Pass Down
And when were talking grandchildren? The game TOTALLY changes. So do the rules.
That’s the part we probably don’t talk about enough:
• how we evolve.
• how we adjust.
• how we hand things down differently because we’re different now.
And tucked inside all of that is something I keep coming back to, especially after hearing that old Crosby, Stills, Nash & Young song “Teach Your Children.” The idea that we’re always teaching each other—kids teach parents, parents teach kids—and much of it happens without anyone realizing it in the moment.
We pass down our stories and our quirks and our hard-won wisdom.
We pass down our humor and our coping skills and the things that got us through our own childhoods.
We pass down the lessons we wish we’d learned sooner.
And sometimes we pass down things we didn’t mean to—but even that becomes something the next generation learns from.
We’re all just trading lessons back and forth. Nobody’s got the master handbook.
We pass things down, we pick things up, and hopefully we get a little kinder about the people who came before us — and a little more patient with the ones coming after.
So, just look at them and sigh
and know they love you.
If you’ve made it to the bottom of this post, I’m guessing something here resonated—whether it’s navigating grief and growth, diving into natural wellness, or just trying to live a more intentional life in a fast-paced world.
This space is where I share what I’m learning (and unlearning), the tools that are helping me along the way, and the little things that bring joy, healing, and clarity—even on the hard days.
This space is where I share what I’m learning (and unlearning), the tools that are helping me along the way, and the little things that bring joy, healing, and clarity—even on the hard days.
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This isn’t about perfection or pressure. It’s about finding what supports us, what lights us up, and what brings us back to ourselves—together.
You’re invited to join my newsletter, Finding What Works—a weekly-ish note from me with practical wellness tips, nostalgic nods for GenX souls, and honest reflections from someone who’s still figuring it all out (but loves sharing the good stuff along the way).
This isn’t about perfection or pressure. It’s about finding what supports us, what lights us up, and what brings us back to ourselves—together.
Click here to subscribe and come along for the ride. I’d love to have you in my corner.
Have a question or something to share?
✨ My blog exists because I know what it feels like to keep everything jumbled in your head — like a messy pile of clothes you can’t sort through.
Writing it all down brings clarity, calm, and sometimes even healing answers I didn’t know I was looking for.
Honestly, that’s why I keep showing up to write — it helps me make sense of things.
Even if you have no intentions of ever publishing your work, I highly recommend writing stuff down. It doesn't have to be a literary masterpiece or even full, grammatically correct sentences... just dump those random thoughts onto paper... you'll see what I mean.
*This blog centers the GenX experience, simply because that’s the lens I live through—but anyone looking for connection, natural wellness, grief support, or a little real-talk in this messy stage of life is more than welcome.
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