As I've been working through everything surrounding the recent death of my husband, one truth has become crystal clear: People are good, and they want to help.
I may someday feel ready to share more of our story from the past few months, but right now, it feels too personal. My emotions are still raw, and I’m struggling to find the balance between what to share and what to keep private. For now, I want to focus on what I’m learning in the midst of this difficult experience—starting with the incredible ways my faith in humanity’s goodness has been deepened.
The Power of Small Gestures in Grief
Some people have walked this road before. They’ve been through loss and grief and know firsthand how overwhelming it can be. They understand the small gestures that meant the most to them and often step in without being asked—bringing meals, running errands, or simply sitting quietly.
These thoughtful actions can be lifesavers because, honestly, you may not even know what you need until someone shows up and does it.
How to Help Someone Through Grief
Then there are those who want to help but hesitate, afraid of overstepping or doing the wrong thing. They don’t want to intrude, so they hold back.
If you’re one of these people, please know how much it matters just to show up. A simple text—“I’m thinking about you” or “I’m at the store; can I grab something for you?”—can mean the world.
It’s not about grand gestures or perfect words; the smallest actions can feel like lifelines. If you’re unsure, ask gently: “Would it help if I…” That willingness to be there, in whatever way is needed, makes a bigger difference than you realize.
Practical Ways to Support Someone Grieving
Finally, there are those who want to help but have no idea where to begin. For them, it’s okay—and even necessary—to give direction. Assigning small, manageable tasks not only eases your own load but also allows them to feel useful and connected during a time when they might feel powerless.
It doesn’t have to be anything major, but those small tasks can feel monumental in their impact:
• Bring in the mail.
• Let the dogs out.
• Water that plant I keep forgetting about.
• Take my car through the carwash.
• Fold the towels in the dryer.
• Drop this package off at UPS.
Sometimes, falling into a rhythm of simple tasks feels like a comforting return to normalcy. Other times, overwhelm takes over and even the smallest chore feels insurmountable. Grief is unpredictable like that, and that’s okay.
The Gifts of Grief: Connection and Understanding
You’ll be amazed at how much people understand this duality. You can tell someone, “I need to be alone today,” and they’ll respect that. Or you can admit, “I don’t want to be alone, but I don’t want to talk,” and they’ll simply sit with you.
That kind of understanding is one of the quiet gifts of grief—it shows you just how deeply people care.
"Grief strips life down to its essentials, revealing love, connection, and the kindness of others."
Finding Strength Through Connection
In the end, I’m finding that grief has a way of stripping life down to its essentials. It reveals what truly matters: love, connection, and the kindness of others.
It teaches you to accept help, even when that feels unfamiliar or vulnerable. And it reminds you that being open—whether you’re the one grieving or the one supporting—creates space for healing in ways you didn’t expect.
If you’re navigating loss, know that it’s okay to ask for help and even to stumble as you figure out what you need. And if you’re walking alongside someone in grief, know that your presence, no matter how imperfect, is more than enough.
In those small, thoughtful moments of showing up, we remind each other of the goodness that still exists, even in the hardest of times.
Have you experienced the power of small gestures in challenging times? Share your story in the comments!
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