You know those days where everything is set up to go smoothly—and then somehow, nothing does? Yeah. I just had another one of those mornings.
I had my water bottle prepped. I had my essential oils right there on the kitchen counter—Peppermint for focus, Citrus Fresh for a mood lift. My to-do list was written out the night before (a rare win!). But instead of starting my day with intention and clarity, I stood in the kitchen watching videos about productivity hacks while the diffuser sat there... bone dry.
I knew exactly what would help me feel better. So why couldn’t I just do the thing? And how does one little deviation from my morning routine throw me so totally off track for the rest of the day?
Why Motivation Fizzles (Even When You Have Good Intentions)
For the longest time, I chalked it up to being lazy or undisciplined. Maybe I wasn’t serious enough about my goals. Maybe I just didn’t want it badly enough. I had all the tools—what I didn’t have, apparently, was the follow-through.
But now, thanks to a couple of YouTube videos that landed in my feed, I’m starting to wonder if that inner critic doesn’t have the full picture. What if it’s not a character flaw? What if it’s something else—like undiagnosed adult ADHD?
Real Women, Real ADHD Experiences
Now, let me be clear: I haven’t been diagnosed with ADHD. I’m not self-diagnosing either. But the more I learn about how ADHD shows up in women, especially those of us in our 40s or 50s and beyond, the more I see myself in those stories.
YouTube’s algorithm knows what’s up, because those videos keep showing up in my feed—women talking about how their ADHD diagnosis finally explained struggles with clutter, decision-making, and emotional overwhelm. And I’m sitting there nodding along like, Wait... that’s me.
It’s not just about being distracted or hyperactive (though I do tend to have 14 tabs open at any given time—mentally and on my browser). It’s about losing track of time. Avoiding simple tasks for no logical reason. Forgetting why I walked into a room.
There’s the screenshot-everything habit, which just turns into a giant, overwhelming folder I never look at. There’s feeling completely overwhelmed by things that seem easy for everyone else. And there’s the brain fog that makes “normal” daily life feel like trying to run through molasses.
The Procrastination-Dopamine Connection
One thing I’ve started noticing? I don’t always avoid tasks because they’re hard—I avoid them because they’re boring. If there’s no immediate payoff, my brain just shrugs and walks away. But give me a looming deadline with a little panic sprinkled in, and suddenly I’m a productivity machine.
Why? Because that last-minute pressure gives me the dopamine hit I wasn’t getting before.
It’s not about laziness—it’s about brain chemistry.
I’ve been learning more about how ADHD brains crave stimulation, especially when it comes to dopamine. So lately, I’ve been curious about natural ways to support dopamine levels—because I’d rather not rely on panic as my main productivity tool.
One that’s caught my attention? Cordyceps mushroom. It’s been studied for its potential to support dopamine function, which could lead to steadier motivation—not just the adrenaline rush that shows up when you’re down to the wire.
I'm still learning. Still experimenting. But if there’s a way to help my brain work with me instead of waiting until the eleventh hour every time? I’m all ears.
The Shame Spiral is Real
There’s this weird shame spiral that comes with all of that. You start asking yourself questions like, “Why can’t I just do the thing?” or “What’s wrong with me?” And then, just to top it off, you throw in a dash of comparison to people who seem to have their act together.
Fun.
But here’s what’s been helping lately: curiosity over criticism.
Curiosity Over Criticism
Instead of defaulting to self-blame, I’ve started getting curious about the patterns. Like how I avoid tasks that don’t give me an immediate dopamine hit—because brushing my teeth or replying to emails just doesn’t spark joy. But waiting until the very last minute? That brings a rush of urgency-fueled adrenaline that finally kicks my brain into gear.
It’s not that I don’t care. It’s that my brain seems to need that extra chemical nudge to get started.
I’ve noticed I can hyperfocus on something totally random (hello, deep dive into Victorian mourning customs) while completely ignoring something important—like making sure the water bill gets paid. Or how I’ll forget I even own certain wellness tools because they’re not visible, and therefore, not sparking anything neurologically interesting.
“Out of sight, out of mind” is very, very real.
So I’m adjusting—not perfectly, but intentionally. I’ll keep oils where I’ll actually use them, not just where they look Pinterest-worthy. I’m letting “half-done” count as good enough. I celebrate small wins—like filling the diffuser before I scroll Instagram into oblivion.
Learning to Work With My Brain, Not Against It
I think it’s going to make a difference. Simply recognizing and understanding how my brain works has been a game-changer.
My next step? Figuring out how to get that dopamine kick without needing stress, chaos, or the “company’s on the way” cleaning panic to make it happen. There have to be better ways to motivate myself. Have you found any? Seriously—send ‘em my way.
If you’ve ever felt like you’re fighting your own brain just to get through a normal day, you’re not alone. Maybe it’s ADHD. Maybe it’s burnout. Maybe you’re neurodivergent in a world that’s built for a completely different kind of brain.
Whatever it is, there’s no shame in asking new questions. And there’s so much peace in learning to work with your brain, instead of constantly trying to wrestle it into submission—and then beating yourself up when that doesn’t work.
So here’s to curiosity, compassion, and tiny wins. And to finally hitting “start” on the things that help.
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