I've been noticing things about myself that I'm not sure I've ever really noticed before... at least not through the same lens as I'm seeing them now.I think they've always been there. I just never stopped and really thought about these things long enough to connect the dots.

You know that feeling when you get home after being out for a while... everything was great, nothing went wrong... the conversations were fine, maybe even really good. You’re glad you went.And yet, the first thing you find yourself craving is a little space. A little quiet. Just a moment where no one needs anything from you. I’ve had that feeling more times than I can count, especially after being in a large group of people. When I get home, there’s this clear sense that my energy has been used up. Not just my physical energy, but emotional and mental energy, too.For a long time, I think I quietly assumed that this was something I should probably work through. 

I’ve had a few situations lately where I really wanted to defend myself… like, not just calmly explain, but jump up and say, “That’s not even close to true.” And, since I’m always honest with you, part of me doesn’t just want to set the record straight… I want people to realize how ridiculous it all is. I want instant redemption.But I've started thinking… if someone came at me like that... all loud and emotional, telling me I’m wrong... would that actually change my mind? Probably not. I’d shut down. Or get defensive. Or just think, “Wow… ooookaaaay.” (This has happened before and it didn’t exactly make me see their side.)That mini epiphany has me rethinking something else...

There was a time when I felt like I should have an opinion about just about everything. If something was being debated, I figured I probably ought to know where I stood on it.Somewhere along the way, that expectation quietly faded. Now when I see a headline, a debate, or a heated conversation online, I don’t automatically feel the urge to weigh in anymore...

If you've been reading my blogs lately, you've probably noticed that I’ve been using the words "calm" and "simple" to describe the direction I want for my life these days.Those words have been shaping a lot of my decisions. I’m choosing a slower pace, fewer extremes, and more than a little extra intention about what I take on and what I let go of. I'm getting better at pausing, thinking, and praying before plowing ahead. It's a shift that's working well for me...