cortisol

Girl Talk Lowers Cortisol and Raises Sanity—Science Says So

Girl Talk Lowers Cortisol and Raises Sanity—Science Says So
Turns out, that heart-to-heart with your bestie is basically brain medicine.


I saw this meme the other day claiming that when women vent to each other, it actually helps us lower cortisol, boost serotonin, and build stronger neural pathways. At first, I laughed and thought, Well that explains a lot. Then I did a little digging—and guess what? That meme wasn’t just internet fluff. It was onto something.

Down in this mini rabbit hole, I'm finding that having a good old-fashioned vent session with a trusted friend isn’t just emotionally satisfying—it’s biologically good for you. Like, science-backed, hormone-balancing, brain-strengthening good.

I’m not saying we should ditch the natural wellness products I'm always talking about or give up on mindfulness or any other intentional forms of self care. But if all it takes to reset my nervous system is a trusted friend and permission to be fully unfiltered for a few minutes? 
Sign. Me. Up.


 The Hormone Boost You Didn’t Know You Were Getting


The Hormone Boost You Didn’t Know You Were Getting


So here’s the deal: when you’re stressed, your body pumps out cortisol, the big bad wolf of stress hormones. It’s helpful in small doses (think: fight or flight response), but too much cortisol over time? Not great. Now, when women talk through their stress—especially with someone who listens and validates them—cortisol levels drop. That’s not just a feeling. It’s a measurable shift in your body chemistry.

At the same time, talking things out can increase oxytocin (that lovely bonding hormone) and serotonin (the one that helps with mood and regulation). Basically, your body’s like: Oh good, we’re not alone in this. We’re safe. We can exhale now.

And if you've ever felt your shoulders literally lower after talking to a friend, now you know why.


 Why It Works Especially Well for Women


Why It Works Especially Well for Women


Researchers at UCLA came up with this idea called the “tend and befriend” response. It’s the female version of “fight or flight.” Instead of gearing up for battle or running away from stress, women often cope by seeking connection—especially emotional connection.
When we talk to someone we trust, our bodies release oxytocin, which calms the stress response and makes us feel more secure. And women tend to release more oxytocin than men in these situations. That’s why those venting sessions can feel like therapy... even when you’re just ranting about someone cutting you off in traffic, your laundry pile, or your brain fog.
It’s not drama. It’s biology.


Venting vs. Spiraling (Because Yes, There’s a Difference)


Venting vs. Spiraling (Because Yes, There’s a Difference)


Now, just to be clear: this only works when the conversation is supportive. If it turns into an endless loop of negativity with no relief or perspective, that’s rumination. And rumination actually ramps stress back up. Been there.

But healthy venting? That’s about:
• Feeling heard
• Naming the thing that’s bothering you
• Maybe getting a laugh or a new angle
• And then letting it go (or at least releasing some of the pressure)

Supportive venting is basically co-regulation—your nervous system syncing up with someone else's calm. And that can be powerful.




Why We Need More of This Right Now


We live in a world that keeps nudging us toward isolation. Quick texts, surface-level social media, everyone too busy to actually sit down and talk. But our brains still crave that deeper connection. The kind where someone actually hears you. Where you don’t have to filter or pretend. Where the conversation isn’t trying to fix you—it’s just there to be with you.

So let’s bring back the check-in calls. The porch chats. The friend who always knows when to ask, “Okay, what’s really going on?” even if the only answer you have is “Everything and nothing.”


 Bottom Line? Talk It Out. For Real.


Bottom Line? Talk It Out. For Real.


The next time you feel like you’re “just venting,” remember—your body’s doing something smart. You’re regulating your stress. You’re giving your brain some breathing room. You’re bonding, connecting, healing, growing, and probably laughing a little along the way.

So go visit your person. Make the call. Sit on the back porch and spill the whole story. You’re not being dramatic.

You’re taking care of yourself—in one of the most human ways there is.



 www.ajflanagan.com


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*This blog centers the GenX experience, simply because that’s the lens I live through—but anyone looking for connection, natural wellness, grief support, or a little real-talk in this messy stage of life is more than welcome.

Hi! I'm AJ Flanagan.

 
Hey there! I’m a GenX empty-nester - and recent widow - who had a wake-up call about the hidden toxins in everyday products we used growing up. Our parents didn’t know, and honestly, we were clueless too. But now, I’m all about sharing the details and helping others kick those sneaky chemicals to the curb for a healthier, happier life. 🌿

Life threw us a curveball in 2018 when my amazing husband, Eric, was diagnosed with leukemia. And then a second type of cancer in 2023.  Supporting him through his treatments was challenging, but it also inspired us to make some positive changes. We embraced holistic wellness practices, worked to transform our home into a toxin-free sanctuary, and incorporated relaxation techniques like meditation, music therapy, and aromatherapy into our daily routine.

Caring for and supporting Eric deepened my commitment to living well. From choosing natural products and prioritizing nutritious foods to finding strength in vulnerability, we built a daily routine focused on positivity and wellness. 

I’m passionate about sharing our story, the lessons we learned, and the simple steps we took to enhance our overall well-being.


Creating a Nurturing Space Together

We focused on creating a nurturing environment where both of us could thrive. It was a process of resilience, love, and continuous learning that I'm determined to carry forward from here. I’m eager to share our experiences, the lessons we picked up along the way, and the small changes that made a big difference in our lives. Whether you’re looking to make minor adjustments or dive into a complete wellness transformation, I hope our story can inspire and support you on your own path.

Here’s to embracing change, supporting each other, and living our best lives—together! ✨

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