Not All Growth Goes Forward: Finding the Harmony in Real Growth


Growth has a funny way of sneaking up on you — sometimes it’s the kind you go looking for, and sometimes it’s the kind that finds you anyway. 


 Forward Growth: The Melody Everyone Can Hear

Forward Growth: The Melody Everyone Can Hear

This past year and a half have been full of both for me. And no matter how it shows up, forward growth is the easiest kind to recognize. It’s the promotion, the new skill, the milestone you finally hit, the visible personal development wins... and sometimes just getting through to face the next day. Those moments are worth celebrating — they’re the melody everyone can hear.

But here’s the thing: a melody without harmony feels thin. It can even sound hollow.


 Sideways Growth: The Harmony That Gives It Depth

Sideways Growth: The Harmony That Gives It Depth

That’s where sideways growth — the emotional and relational kind — comes in. It’s the background harmony that makes the melody powerful. The friendships that make your achievements sweeter. The spiritual grounding that keeps your success from floating away. The emotional depth that transforms a milestone into more than just a line item on your résumé.

• In my health routines, the sideways growth was in the emotional support I had around me — family checking in, friends cheering me on. That made sticking with it possible.

• In personal growth — saying yes to speaking up or taking on new responsibilities — the sideways growth was in the confidence built quietly at home, in faith, or in conversations where I could be fully myself and share personal stuff.

• In seasons of loss, the forward growth of “getting through it” would have felt shallow without the sideways growth of reflection, relationships, and even little sparks of joy that kept me grounded and sometimes smiling through my tears.

I’ve had goals that, once reached, felt strangely empty. On paper, they looked like progress. But without that sideways depth — without family, faith, or connection in the mix — they didn’t feel like real growth.


 The Symphony of Real Growth

The Symphony of Real Growth

The milestones that changed me most weren’t just about moving forward. They were about expanding outward. They were layered with background music that made the whole song fuller, more beautiful, more lasting.

Forward growth builds the melody. Sideways growth gives it harmony. Together, that’s where you find a life that actually sings.

And maybe that’s the point — growth isn’t meant to be a solo line of accomplishments. It’s meant to be a symphony. Faith adds depth, grace, and direction. Family and friendships provide the harmony that steadies the song. Even the quiet moments of joy or sorrow become notes in a bigger piece... those silences within a symphony are as important as the biggest notes.


 Where Real Peace Lives

Where Real Peace Lives

We need the kind of growth that balances achievement with connection — that’s where real peace lives. It’s what turns progress into something sacred. It becomes worship. It becomes love. It becomes a song worth remembering.

What about you? Can you think of a time when sideways growth — the quiet, background kind — made all the difference in how something felt, not just how it looked on paper?








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Have a question or something to share?

✨ My blog exists because I know what it feels like to keep everything jumbled in your head — like a messy pile of clothes you can’t sort through.
 Writing it all down brings clarity, calm, and sometimes even healing answers I didn’t know I was looking for.

Honestly, that’s why I keep showing up to write — it helps me make sense of things. 

 Even if you have no intentions of ever publishing your work, I highly recommend writing stuff down. It doesn't have to be a literary masterpiece or even full, grammatically correct sentences... just dump those random thoughts onto paper... you'll see what I mean.

*This blog centers the GenX experience, simply because that’s the lens I live through—but anyone looking for connection, natural wellness, grief support, or a little real-talk in this messy stage of life is more than welcome.

2 Comments

  1. AJ that was very meaningful and beautiful at the same time❣️
    AJ Flanagan AUTHOR  10/05/2025 03:11 PM Central
    Thank you, Alyce.
  2. I really like the idea of sideways growth. It makes me feel like even if I am not always moving forward I can settle in and get comfortable with where I am.
    AJ Flanagan AUTHOR  10/05/2025 03:13 PM Central
    Yes! This kind of growth is at least as important as moving forward. ❤️

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✨ My blog exists because I know what it feels like to keep everything jumbled in your head — like a messy pile of clothes you can’t sort through.

 Writing it all down brings clarity, calm, and sometimes even healing answers I didn’t know I was looking for.


Honestly, that’s why I keep showing up to write — it helps me make sense of things. 

 Even if you have no intentions of ever publishing your work, I highly recommend writing stuff down. It doesn't have to be a literary masterpiece or even full, grammatically correct sentences... just dump those random thoughts onto paper... you'll see what I mean.

*This blog centers the GenX experience, simply because that’s the lens I live through—but anyone looking for connection, natural wellness, grief support, or a little real-talk in this messy stage of life is more than welcome.

Hi! I'm AJ Flanagan.

 
Hey there! I’m a GenX empty-nester - and recent widow - who had a wake-up call about the hidden toxins in everyday products we used growing up. Our parents didn’t know, and honestly, we were clueless too. But now, I’m all about sharing the details and helping others kick those sneaky chemicals to the curb for a healthier, happier life. 🌿

Life threw us a curveball in 2018 when my amazing husband, Eric, was diagnosed with leukemia. And then a second type of cancer in 2023.  Supporting him through his treatments was challenging, but it also inspired us to make some positive changes. We embraced holistic wellness practices, worked to transform our home into a toxin-free sanctuary, and incorporated relaxation techniques like meditation, music therapy, and aromatherapy into our daily routine.

Caring for and supporting Eric deepened my commitment to living well. From choosing natural products and prioritizing nutritious foods to finding strength in vulnerability, we built a daily routine focused on positivity and wellness. 

I’m passionate about sharing our story, the lessons we learned, and the simple steps we took to enhance our overall well-being.


Creating a Nurturing Space Together

We focused on creating a nurturing environment where both of us could thrive. It was a process of resilience, love, and continuous learning that I'm determined to carry forward from here. I’m eager to share our experiences, the lessons we picked up along the way, and the small changes that made a big difference in our lives. Whether you’re looking to make minor adjustments or dive into a complete wellness transformation, I hope our story can inspire and support you on your own path.

Here’s to embracing change, supporting each other, and living our best lives—together! ✨

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