Opening Up: Life Right Now
The past few months have been really tough—no sugar-coating that. My mom passed away in June right around the time my husband, Eric's, second type of cancer came back with a vengeance, and then he had major surgery in July. Now he's in the midst of chemo and radiation treatments which are, as you might imagine, pretty tough on him.
But instead of just dwelling on all the challenges 24/7, I'm trying to take this on from a different and hopefully more positive perspective...
"This experience is providing me with plenty of opportunities for personal growth."
My Go-To Mantra
The one thing that’s really helped me stay grounded is this new mantra: "This experience is providing me with plenty of opportunities for personal growth."
The first time I said that, I was feeling a little sarcastic and quite at odds with how to handle everything that was going on. I was overwhelmed. After I heard myself say it, I thought "Yes! That's actually exactly what it is," and then, laughingly, "I think I was just accidentally very wise."
Now every time I repeat it, I'm reminded that this is temporary and that I'm not just a bystander—I'm actively shaping who I’m becoming. This focus helps me shake off feelings of overwhelm and stress, allowing me to embrace this time as a period for self-improvement as well as supporting and caring for Eric.
It's so easy to feel like life is just happening to me, but my mantra flips that. Instead of reacting to every little hiccup, I'm trying to be more intentional with how I respond. I'm definitely not nailing it every day, but it gives me a sense of purpose and control amidst this chaos.
Talking It Out
One of the first things I noticed I need to work on is my communication skills. When emotions are running high and stress is everywhere, it's so easy for misunderstandings to pop up. But now, being clear, compassionate, and intentional with my words feels more important than ever. This whole situation has made me listen more closely, ask better questions, and avoid jumping to conclusions. It's not just about getting my point across—it’s about really hearing the other person, especially when they're dealing with their own stuff.
I'm learning that communication isn't just about words. It's in body language, tone, and timing too. Some days, the best thing I can do is just be present and say nothing. There's a lot of comfort in silence when it's shared with empathy. There's something about that silence when I intentionally relax my body (deep, cleansing breaths) as I sit next to Eric's hospital bed. Whether we consciously recognize it or not, we feel when someone near us is tense and uneasy rather than relaxed and calm.
There's a lot of comfort in silence when it's shared with empathy.
Though I'm definitely a work in progress on that front, I'm getting better at navigating the complexities of expressing and receiving emotions, especially during the tough moments.
Learning to Wait
Patience is something I thought I pretty much had down until this experience started testing it at every turn. Whether it's waiting for test results, dealing with treatment schedules, or just being there for Eric's emotional ups and downs, I've had to embrace slow progress. And it's not just with him—I'm also learning to be patient with myself. Some days, staying patient feels really hard, especially when things seem out of my control.
But in those moments, I remind myself of my mantra and that personal growth and healing don't happen overnight. I'm starting to appreciate the small victories, no matter how unimportant they might seem to the big picture. Each day is a new lesson in patience, and even though I'm still learning, I know this is shaping me into someone who is more resilient and adaptable.
Taking Care of Me
Throughout all of this, self-care has become a non-negotiable part of my routine. Whether it's winding down for a good night's sleep, clearing my head, or de-stressing after a long day, my natural solutions like diffusing and applying essential oils, sitting in quiet meditation, and journaling have been lifesavers. Writing this blog that you're reading right now has been very therapeutic for me! These things help me hit the reset button and take care of myself so I can be here for Eric. It's not just about getting through the day—it's about staying as balanced and clear-headed as possible, even when life feels chaotic. Self-care isn't a luxury right now—it's a necessity.
Finding Strength in Being Real
One of the most surprising (to me) things I've learned throughout this experience is how strength and vulnerability go hand in hand. At first, I felt like I had to keep everything together, to be the rock. But over time, I'm realizing that true strength isn't about always being "strong." It's about being okay with not having all the answers and admitting when I need help.
Through these honest moments, I've found my real strength, and this is a lesson I'll carry with me long after this experience is over.
Opening up to friends and family about what we're going through hasn't always been easy, but it's been incredibly freeing. Vulnerability isn't a weakness—it’s allowed me to build deeper connections with friends and family and gain support when I need it most. Through these honest moments, I've found my real strength, and this is a lesson I'll carry with me long after this experience is over.
Still Growing Every Day
This journey isn't over, and neither is my personal growth. Every day is another chance to be better, learn something new, or handle a situation with more grace than before. I'm nowhere near perfect—and that's okay. As long as I keep focusing on how I can improve - and support and care for Eric in the process, I know I'll come out of this stronger than I was before.
We both will.
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